Wish You Were Here

Groupie Love

2009-03-01T22:57:00.003-05:00

Here I begin a lovely segment titled

The Paris Hilton Upgrade

Def: A section of the blog where I reveal a person that is infinitely more talented, interesting, and "hot" than Ms. Paris Hilton. Furthermore, the following person should be considered for his or her own reality show before any jackass at MTV or VHI considers a "BFFuckMe" part deux.

PAMELA DES BARRES

Aka Miss Pamela

Aka my new hero. This woman is legendary for being a famous groupie during the sixties and seventies. She spent her days lounging, loving, and fucking some of the more epic rock stars such as Mick Jagger, Jimmy Page, Waylon Jennings and Keith Moon.

Although her list of nabs are endlessly delicious, what truly makes this woman fab are her own quirky accomplishments. She was a member of the GTOs (GirlsTogetherOutrageously / Only / Openly / Organically / etc) - this group is so weird that it will be cool forever. BONUS: their songs make absolutely no sense and are awful by conventional standards - aka, weirdo-liberal-heads will ALWAYS love their goofy ways.

My personal fav?? A song entitled "Wouldn't it be sad if there were no cones?" - the girls sing about the many positive qualities of "cones" (apparently sixties slang for black men??) complimented with examples of their FABulous one-liners.

Step 1. YouTube.com

Step 2. Wouldn't it be sad if there were no cones?

Step 3. Listen

Step 4. Glorify

I first learned about Miss Pamela after reading her book "I'm With the Band" - she has also written another memoir titled "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up" and two non-fiction books about the crazy backstaged life. Obviously, all of these books are on my to-do list.

I cannot seem to find so much information on what Miss Pamela is up to nowadays - all I know is that she has officially shimmied her way into the Top Ten people I MUST meet. Sidenote: I'm not entirely sure what the other nine are - although one is Diablo Cody and the other is Dita Von Teese. Hmmm, maybe I should make this list into a future post...

The point is - Miss Pamela is truly oozing with fab-noscity.

Cleo Handley = style icon?

2009-02-26T16:43:00.006-05:00

I have recently returned from un piccolo giro to Grandbury, Texas - where most unwanted horses, weird old uncles, and pieces of turquoise jewelry go to die. Surprisingly, I found a style treasure amidst my Nana's closet and I begged for her to let me have it (I must note I literally had to BEG for the piece, which is strange because it is almost impossible to tell my Nana you like anything without her trying to thrust it on your finger (this typically applies to rings)).
Anyways, I found an old Dooney&Bourke, black and brown (it actually works here Ferg), leather, bowler bag. It's divine.
Officially, it is my favorite piece of my wardrobe. And BONUS: it was owned by my great-grandmother (Mrs. Cleo Handley herself!) and actually had some of her old credit cards in the front pouch when I opened it up - che carino!

My name is Erin...

2009-02-24T21:51:00.003-05:00

All the fabulousessness that would be my old ballet costume headpieces.
My name is Erin, and YES I will be wearing them throughout next year.
Sidenote: My new pseudo-self is a crazy woman named Pamela (after the oh-so-bitching Pamela Des Barres) and she will be wrecking havoc soon within my soul. <3
Further sidenote: I'm thinking of starting a blog about it all - or rather I am about to make this blog into more than just a fun treat between girlfriends. It's going to have moments. Moments most likely induced by whichever narcotic I'm rocking at the time. Feel free to join the movement <33

Am I as cool as Stephanie yet?

2009-01-24T00:11:00.000-05:00

It's your Birfday!!!

2008-11-13T08:42:00.002-05:00

Hey darling - HAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYY!!!
1. I hope you have a fabulous day
2. I expect you to be intoxicated in some way at least once during these 24 hours - yes, Friday can count as long as you promise to get extremely drunk
3. Tell your mother hello and I'm sooo excited to see her (but not as excited as I am to see my Fergie-Ferg!!)
4. I found the Freshman Year @ NYU picture slideshow I was working out like 3 months ago - I had forgotten about it because I got up to like 30min (ya...I know - but we have ALOT of pictures) and then it had an "Unexpected Error" and deleted everything up to like 13min so I was soooo frustrated that I pushed the whole project out of my mind - but now I'm over it so I'll try to finish it up and have it ready by the time we meet up.
5. I was looking at pictures of last Halloween. They made me smile, and then sad because we were soooo skinny
5a. I'm going to the gym today.
5b. It's almost 3pm here, and I've only gotten out of bed to eat breakfast..(which included chocolate..). 5a is not realistic.
6. I'm planning on calling you later, once I think you are actually awake and kicking. Try to answer, but if you don't no worries I'll just leave an obnoxious message.
7. I sent the flight info to mommy so I'm thinking we're a go - Jan 3-8 right? Haha I keep forgetting because I'm always doped up on Ambien
7a. This could be a future problem..
7b. Fuck it. I can't smoke anymore so I have to do something!! And cocaine isn't legal yet..AND I'm about to be a part of a world where I can't drink anymore!!
8. I miss you!! (The pictures made me way nostalgic) And wish I were there to share your birthday!! But we'll definitely do plenty of ridiculous things to make up for it.
9. I'll blog about Paris soon.
9a. I'm sick and gross and don't do anything. It's like that one week I had mono that NEVER ends.
10. I miss New York!!
10a. I told you I was feeling nostalgic.
11. Love you Fergie-Ferg, welcome to the big world of 19 year olds!!

is there something different about you?!

2008-11-07T15:28:00.000-05:00

2008-11-03T23:31:00.004-05:00

bonjour by Sarah Ferguson

Hey lady. well gee wiz that's the longest thing ive read since like.. idk when! when it sounds like you had quite an amazing and interesting time.. to say the least.. and i'm officially jealous! & of course your could be coming out story would be in the red light district of Amsterdam..you can't do anything the way normal people do things can you?! lol but i guesss that's what i heart about you :) I want to hear about barcelona! & an explanation for why you were not wearing a costume in any picture you've posted. !

Anywhoo, well last week was supposed to be the best week ever. But i was very blue last week. So i had to drag myself out of my room to do anything but i'm glad I did. The costume party at the Met was tuesday and there weren't that many people there but it was fun hiding from Museum Guy and stuff. Also, my new kind of friend Caroline, who me & Stephanie met at a party at the Chelsea Art Museum was there and she said her boyfriend leaves her alone at parties a lot so she can go pick up girls (as friends) because her best friend from last year left her to go to a cheaper school and she has no friends. But guess what her bff's name is?!?! NELL! Isn't that strange?? I was like shuutttt upp! OKAY next, was the party at Saks. There was a red carpet. It was fancy schmancy.. we got pear martinis & champagne served by male models ( & all i could think of when Samantha fucks Smith when he's a coctail waiter at a party & i was like I need to make a move! But in real life cocktail waiters are gaygaygay) annnndd Duffy performed! you know the one who sings Mercy? she was hella cute with her little welsh accent! So then it was Halloween and Cat (my exbestfriend turned friend again) was supposed to come but her Dad dies tuesday ( :( ) so obvs she didn't come. And i had no idea what i was doing because nobody I know knew what they were doing either. But i ended up going to a party in WIlliamsburg with Stephanie and a few others. One of these others, Rachel, is nice-ish, but she's a rich snobby bitch too. She was like ugghh I'm bored. This sucks. let's go. this is lame. (even though it was perfectly fine. & they had a keg & i was happy) so we leave cuz she has another party to take us to back in Manhattan. but as soon as we get off the L, she's like uggh i'm tired so I'm just gonna go back to Gramercy(it's 11pm) and we were like YOU DRAGGED US ALL THE WAY BACK & NOW YOU"RE DITCHING US!?!? but we didnt really say that. so we went to that party & it waas really awk. cuz it was the Equestrian team party(yes.. we have one?) so they all knew ea.other and the girl who lived there was like .. i dont like that all these random ppl keep coming! so ..we left and went BACK to the B-K-L-Y-N. to another party. supposedly with jungle juice. but alas when we got there it was almost all gone & the rest of the night was a BYOB .. which we didn't know. So sober Sarah was not happy. & eventually we left. & before going back to my dorm i bought a whole bag of reeces & ate almost the whole thing myself. Then i went to bed & 2 hours later went to catch a bus back home. & of course the bus was stuck in traffic so I missed Cat's dads funeral! so much for trying to be a good friend! but i still saw her and she was happy just that i was there & then we threw her a lil halloween bash with a few close friends, who i havent seen in a while so it was lovely. And i got drunk. and i was happy. & for the first time i didnt want to leave warwick. Danielle, i kid you not.. I cried while saying goodbye to my parents! I was like who AM I?! but again, I'm depressed so there you go! I think it's just because i have such high highs like going to fashion events and meeting people who i idolize and blahblahblah but at the end of the day i'm just lonely again and it's such a shift & it's fucking with my emotions! Like.. I can't even think about my birthday. I have no clue what to do.. who to invite.. i was thinking Karoke cuz you don't need ids and it's fun but then Stephanie turned her nose up at that idea.. & i feel like i could just stay inside all day on my birthday and no one would caaarrree! & you know how much i love my birthday. oh well. my debbie downer rant is now over.

But.. i didnt tell you! The other day i went to Marquee with my friend Anna.. & i waltzed in & her ID didnt scan so the bouncer took it! & then made her slip him 50$ to get it back! and then we went to Suzie Wongs(finally.. but it sucks inside... i mean the bathrooms are unisex.. EW!) and she walked in and the bouncer there took MY id!! & he was like we both know this isnt you. Give me 20$ & ill let you in but don't make it obvious. what a slimeball. I'm getting brown colored contacts. end of story.

Anyways, i just wanna say that i dont think you realize how much i miss your crazy self! & i loovee youuu & please take pictures of your brown hair on photobooth asap. & OMG BARACK OBAMA.. TOMORROW!! if he loses, please move out of America with me? kthx.

PS-- guess who had a huge guest starring role on Gossip Girl tonight?... STELLA!!! i was like lalalal-I KNOW HER!!!

Waffles, Weed, and HalloWeen

2008-11-02T11:46:00.003-05:00

First of all, how fabulous is this blog Title?? So good in fact that it will most likely be my Facebook Album Title.
Second of all, I have a lot of catching up to do so get comfy.

Brussels!! Aka waffles/mussels/frites. Brief summary: I knew nothing about this town/country before arriving, but G and I picked up a tourist guide and pretty much went crazy. We walked through the whole city in one day - big beautiful cathedrals and massive palaces for Belgian royalty (p.s. who are they??) and a cute park that made me miss Central. We had lovely dinners both nights (oh I eat meat now..) and waffles for breakfast (yum!!). One of G's friends was in town too so we met up with her friends the first night for beers @ some bar that has over 200 taps - I did not care about this at all but everyone else seemed impressed. The second night, G agreed to go clubbing AND even try and find a gay bar (apparently Brussels has a nice gay scene) so we went out to start at the same bar from the night before, met some hot french guy who didn't speak a word of English, proceeded to both make-out with him (and take pictures) then decide to take him along (we tried to explain we were going to a gay bar but he no capisce). We walked for awhile (I'm pretty drunk btw because I'm drinking Vodka out of a water bottle - we bought a bottle of Vodka at the duty-free on our first flight to save money on my alcohol consumption, clever no?) and then G gets weirdly tired and pissy (french boy did not help) so we decided to leave. I was rather upset because I had stayed out all night at the bar but never got my dancing/girl-kissing fill, but also rather drunk so there wasn't much to do. Next day we went to mini-Europe (so cute) and then boarded a train to the next destination ----

AmsterDAMN! Aka space cakes/white widow/chinese boat tour Not so brief summary: When we get there we meet another one of G's friends (some guy she met @ Oktoberfest), take our stuff to hostel, and head straight to a coffeeshop. I'm pretty pushy about this whole thing because I'm already pissy about missing out on clubnight so I basically am calling the shots aka "I need a space cake, now." We go to this little underground place and pick our shit off a fucking menu! I get one space cake (it's actually a muffin..) and the guy gets a white widow joint (4euro - and it's huge!!). It was the weirdest experience getting high in public - you feel way self conscious because you're paranoid but then if you look around you realize EVERYONE is fucked up. I'm blazed (and freaking out a little on the inside because you know as soon as I'm high I want chips and salsa, Disney, and a bed) but we head to this club across the street. Soooo have you ever been high @ a club?? It's would be really fun if I weren't so damn paranoid!! I would start to dance but then think "where's my purse?" (while it's on my shoulder) but the club is playing Backstreet Boys and Grease Lightning so I'm enjoying myself. I forget if we went somewhere else after that, or just went straight to food (I think it's the latter) but we found this place with a free salad bar with every pizza and I swear it was the best meal I've ever had (p.s. food in Amsterdam is aaahhhmazing - but I suppose this would make sense considering it's prob their number 3 tourism attraction (munchies galore!), after weeeed and the red light district<--we'll return to this later ..) End of night. Check.
Okay - next day we get up and play tourists for awhile. Do the bus thing, visit a diamond factory, take a few pics etc etc. I'm jonesing for another space cake/muffin because I didn't really get to feel it since I was simultaneously smoking the white widow (which is sooo strong btw). So G allows me to get a spacer (I could tell she really didn't want me to since she kept saying "as long as you still want to do things.." I was thinking "fuck that, I'm in amsterdam this is exactly what I want to be doing!!" - but she's not that big on weed since she's had a few bad experiences. Boo.) and I pretty much inhale it, then we get on our boat tour. At first we're the only ones on the boat but then a HUGE group of chinese tourists file on, snapping pictures, and having a grand time - now you know I love those asians (they're the new americans) but this was a rowdy crew and they definitely thought that the whole tour and tour guide should be catered to their needs - at one point the loudest man of the group yelled at the tour guide to go faster because they were done looking at this particular sight (see..new americans..)!! The whole time I'm feeling fine - just sketching in my sketch book - when all of a sudden I realize I'm thinking about a million things (step 1. in Danielle's high process). I sit up, close my book, look @ G and start smiling like a loon. Then shit starts spilling out of my mouth about Freud, and my intense fear of boats ("Damn, if I had been on the titanic I would've freaked!" - this is one of the quotes I found written in my sketchbook the next morning) and flipping out about these houses on the canal that are slanted because of the city's weird construction. Basically, I'm blubbering and G was cracking up to the point that I think she was infected with my high - I kept saying "Gina, you haven't smoked anything" and she's like "I know, but I think they put something in my hot chocolate!!" Lol THEN - out of nowhere - this asian lady pops up next to me. Keep in mind, this is a two person seat and there are plenty of open seats so I have no idea why this woman is suddenly up on my jock! (It kind of reminded me of that time that you and Katie (I think, or maybe Anna??) were in the subway and a lady popped her head in between your arms - haha that story still makes me laugh) I'm kind of wondering if I'm imagining her so I keep going "Gina..Gina..can you see her??" but she was listening to the tour and ignoring me. Then, the loud annoying guy comes over and starts taking pictures of me and G with this lady. THEN they switch and he poses with us - it was the weirdest thing, they didn't even ask (or motion) if it was okay. But I guess this is how people in other countries felt when stupid tourists want to take pictures just because they look differently (..new americans..) and we think they thought we were swedish girls and were fascinated by our hair. Afterwards, they just walked away - G and I just looked at each other like "uhh, I was unaware we were a part of the tour.."
Okay so THEN (lol a lot happened in Amsterdam so just hold in there) we got changed/showered (I'm still high in the clouds) we had dinner (Mexican food - yesss) and went back to the coffeeshop and bought a milder joint and sat in the bar for about two hours. For about one hour we sat with the joint between us because G was afraid to get high and I was afraid to get even more high (seriously that brownie made me high for about 8 hours..) until finally we realized we looked crazy and smoked about 1/3 of the joint. Then we bought a whole bunch of munchies and giggled all the way to the hostel. First it was fun, then we were walking through the park and some guy in the bushes had his pants down and was waving his thing at us - we were so freaked out that we just walked past in absolute silence. That was so sketch and we felt legit dirty for about an hour - kinda still creeps me out when I think about it. When we were walking in (stumbling like loons) we ran into four girls who live with us who actually turned out to be staying in our SAME ROOM - and these girls are the ones that came to Amsterdam with Adi and Sr. Willem (but of course we couldn't hang out with them because G and Adi want to kill one another).
The FINAL night (p.s. during the day G wants to walk around but it's raining so I stayed in the hostel all day sleeping/reading my book while she went out haha) we decide to save weed until the end and start drinking/finishing the Vodka bottle. We club hop for awhile, end up at this big Nokia party that had an outside look like the clubs in NY - G was unsure about going in because it looked exclusive but I said "This will be your life in the city so let's go - walk in like you know your shit." Of course we walk right in - it's way cool venue with a huge DJ booth and cool music. Then we notice everyone is wearing some sort of tag thing and we realize there was a guestlist and we just pulled an 'Absinthe-party' move. Danced danced danced - left with these guys who lived in Amsterdam and we asked them to take us to the RED LIGHT DISTRICT - whoo here's where the good stuff begins. So we get there and it's pretty much just how you picture it except the girls are actually hot. They're standing in cute little doors dancing around and you go up to the door and discuss prices, etc. One of the guys has a mom who works @ a bar in the district and we met up with her (way cool of course) and she took us to a strip club. We've already told the boys about my "mission" and they proclaim that this is the night for my first lap dance :) Okay so the girls parade around in cycles so we sat and judged each one until the cycle repeated (me and these guys picking out my girl...haha) and I decided on this blonde girl who looked like Kendra from Girls Next Door (of course) when she's hot with makeup on and had tattoos all over her butt/back (of course). I sat down at the bar (G and I are the only girls in this place ps..) and she struts over and plops down on my lap (naked..ps..) and this part is a little fuzzy because I'm wasted but according to G she was making me touch her boobs and grind and we were pretty much the show for a couple minutes. THEN when I go to give her the money she puts it in my mouth and takes it with her boobs..THEN she leans down to peck me on the lips and we kind of made out for a second (vaguely sure about what really happened - G says I kissed her and she laughed and was like "Oh you're not very shy, huh?" - I'm embarrassed for being so lame). So if I ever become a legit lesbian, I'm pretty sure that's going to have to be my coming out story..
The rest of the night is another blur involving smoking some pot, me falling face-first on the ground (and the only thought in my head when I fell was "the ground is so comfortable"), G crying because some guy wouldn't leave her alone at the strip club and I wasn't helping her because I was too busy "hanging with the guys" (um I was too busy being a lesbian, sorry) to which I told her "Really Gina - I just fell on the street. Do you really think I can be responsible for you right now?? I just fell FACE-FIRST ON THE FUCKING STREET." <-- this seemed to make her feel better. Then the guy with the mom in Amsterdam bought us a bunch of munchies food and walked us back to our hostel - how freaking nice is that?? Needless to say we passed out soon thereafter. The next day we went to the I AMSTERDAM sign and then flew off to our separate locations - well my flight was a lot later so I actually hung out with the other kids from our school for a little bit. The freshman girls were pretty chill and I'm sure we would all hang out if I stayed for next semester, but because of the Adi/G thing I prob won't every be biffies with any of them. Oh and the boys were tripping on shrooms which looked cool but mostly made me realize that if I ever do them I want to be in a very secure location aka NOT the streets of Amsterdam.

UHHH 1. My fingers hurt 2. My brain hurts 3. It's dinner time
Quindi (therefore), I'm going to have to continue this again laterzzzzz. Barcelona stories will come soon - feel free to counter with some Halloween stories :)
Miss you Miley-boo.

2008-10-18T23:39:00.006-04:00

and this one just cuz its likee funny and i took it all by mythelf!!!!

Milez.. that's my shirt

2008-10-08T23:39:00.003-04:00

Also, I was awake last night at 10 AM Italy time. You were not facebook. It made me sad. So then I tried to sleep. But I was so hopped up on redbull, I couldn't. and my brain was so full of middle eastern history and physics equations that I started having wacky dreams about tarantulas. and I had to turn on the light and look at my bed to convince myself there weren't any crawling around. It was awful. & that's my story.

MAY I PLEASE HAVE SOME HALLS AND HEPBURN TOO?!

2008-10-01T16:52:00.003-04:00

soo, i'm really sick too and I had 4 classes in a row today and i wanted to shoot somebody! andandand I really need you because you had a pharmacy last year and now, all I have is Advil and no matter how much I take it doesn't help! andand you have will&Grace and all the good movies! I don't even have an Audrey movie on DVD. Isn't that sad?! andand I have no one to complain to. :( andand I'm doing so well on my diet because I keep justifying being sick and miserable as a reason to eat unhealthy food, andand I haven't been going to the gym because I can't breath through my nose at the moment, and coughs have been taking up space in my throat. I ama hot mess. and I'm sure you are too considering you get a little wacky when you even have a sniffle :-p

ANYYWWAYYSS, on a happier note, I am officially going to pppaaarriissss! Yay!!!!!!! I'm super excited, and I've decided that next time you ask me a french word I will comply because your french vocabulary is just funny. Your fall break sounds amazzzing! I've already started planning stuff in my head about all the places I must go!

I woke up this morning to see my roomie in bed with a BOY HALF NAKED! (maybe all naked the covers were up high!)!! When she saw me this afternoon she was like uhhh Hii, all awkward and guilty like. and I said.. So... have a good night? and She was like OMG I am sooo embarrassed and sorry!! and I was like it's alright.. get it girl! (I actually said this). I mean.. if it happens all the time I might be like.. really? but considering I can sleep through anything, I guess power to her?

I'm sorry about A-Dawwwwg (but not that much because it saves me the trouble of kidnapping you from texas next year) but you know what, if you're meant to be together, it will work out in the end, but you can't throw away the opportunity you'll get being abroad and in NYC a.k.a the greatest city in the whole entire world!

Find the Hills bitch! You must watch this weeks episode! Lauren is pissing me off. idk if I can be friends with her anymore. She is way too dramatic. I feel bad for Stephanie.

That is all. Maybe we can vid soon. I miss your face :)

Life without you is kinda like The Hills episode 7...

2008-09-28T16:21:00.002-04:00

Okay so I began this blog with the intention of watching the Hills episode 7 simultaneously. I figured that since this particular episode does not involve Lauren OR Whitney I would be able to give it approximately 15% of my attention without missing much - but of course I can't find it anywhere (and by "anywhere" I mean YouTube because I am not a brilliant Google-er like yourself and am not able to find anything and everything online).
Life life life - I just got back from a short little trip to Milan. It was really beautiful and I loved the big city feel (I got you a postcard, don't worry). G-baby has a friend who is studying there (a Sternie!) and we went to stay with her. We went to a really nice dinner (champagne, rose wine, AND red wine - I was in drunkO heaven) then went to a chill bar. Normally, this would be an okay night, but I am in the process of getting really sick since I have pretty much been nonstop partying since I arrived and my body is about ready to drop dead. When I do go out, the only thing that keeps me up is a good amount of alcohol, but I did not want to spend 25+euro just to get drunk and just hang out in a bar. Therefore, I remained extremely sober throughout the experience, and sat there coughing, freezing and with a disgustingly pink eye (yes it is STILL like that, and is becoming a dominating force in my life). All these factors made me super pissy and I even snapped @ my friend Kitty-Kat!! (Katrina - she has been in quite a few of our pictures of late and is the new addition to the craziness)
To be fair, she had totally be taunting me all night because we have this little friendly competition going for Sr. Willem. It's an ongoing thing and I enjoy it normally, but for the whole trip she would relate EVERYTHING I said to my relationship with Willem.
Per esempio -
D: "The sky is really pretty today"
K: "Ya I bet you thinking about Willem, huh?"
D: "Wtf?"
- okay it was never anything this extreme but I can't think of a legit example so you're just going to have to trust me. Basically the whole situation made me angry because I feel like we're ALWAYS talking about Sr. Willem. This bothers me because I understand that we're only obsessing because we are seriously into the kid and that rubs me the wrong way. Not only is he really unlike any guy I've ever fallen for (aka Aaron), every girl seems to become an idiot around him. And you know how I hate to like the guys that everyone likes...
Ugh, I hate that he gets to me so much. I hate that he gets to every girl so much. AND I especially hate that this whole situation is so significant that I must recount it in the blog. I would much rather be his friend because I can feel myself turning into a silly little girl, ya know like when we were in middle school and your day can be good or bad depending on what your crush said to you?? Ya, that's how I feel and it pisses me off soooooo much.
So the point is that this whole thing makes me super touchy and I kinda snapped at Kat when she mentioned something about him at drinks - I later apologized.

On a smiley-er note....I have set plans for Fall Break. 1. Brussels for the weekend (waffles) 2. Amsterdam for a few days (weed) 3. Barcelona for Halloween (party, party) I am very excited! And please note I am NOT going to Greece so that we can go next semester :)
September 30th is coming up - it's a big day for us!! First of all, we find out that you're coming here FOR SURE and second, we must begin Project Starvation Part Deux: better known as "It's Britney Bitch". This is my game plan - not eat anything all day (this is easy since there is nothing to eat anywhere convenient), workout right before dinner (so that my body is in burning calories mode and not "ho fame!" mode), begin dinner with a lot of salad, come back for ONE bowl of pasta, leave dining hall with ONE piece of bread and piece of fruit. I'm thinking this will be a success. Of course, the first week will be "Ah Devil!" but soon our bodies will get used to the situation and hottness, here we come! Please respond with your game-plan ASAP.

On a sad-er note (for me @ least)...I think Aaron is ready to let me go. He sent me an e-mail about a week ago that said he felt I was just using him as a "safety net" for whenever I come back home and need someone. I told him that this was completely untrue, because being with him was anything but easy, but he just doesn't understand how I can love him but not want to come back to Texas. He said "Do you really expect me to wait for you throughout this whole Florence thing only to find out that you're going to go back to New York anyways?" The boy has a good point, yes, but I wish he would understand that I don't want to be in New York so I can be with other guys etc etc - I know he's perfect if I want to settle down and have a relationship. I just never wanted that to be a part of my life (@ least not for a long-ass time). The problem is he's ready NOW, and wants to follow the "normal" pattern of things. I have no idea what I want instead of Texas, but I don't want to move back until I've figured it out. Sometimes I think being "normal" would be the greatest thing in the world (especially if it was with him), but then I get a little taste of my other options and I just can't imagine life anyway else. So hopefully I won't wake up one day and feel like I made the wrong choice - but how can he really expect me to leave all this for a relationship that is as shady and destructive as ours? Yes, I love our relationship, but it's just not solid enough to bet my future on. He hung up on me the last time we chatted and I have since e-mailed him to tell him to let me know when he wants to talk again (he's apparently going through some rough stuff @ home and I told him there's no need to burn bridges with me just because everything else is shitty) but knowing him that might not be for a long-ass time. Or I'll be showing up at his front door sometime in December.

I still need to know what your life will be like over Christmas break.
Respond ASAP, lovebug.
I hope this weekend was fabulous and that the Fergusons are doing lovely :)
Ciao ciao

P.s. Could you start teaching me some French? Seriously, the only phrases I can think of in French come from Disney movies.... "Heeeheeeheee Haahaahaa" and "Bonjour! ..Bonjour! ..Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!" for example....

2008-09-09T15:09:00.003-04:00

I just want to start off by saying that I wish you could see the devious smirk that crept across my face when i read "maybe because I'm scared of you." I'm well aware that the only way to get you to do things I want is by calling you mean names like skank and put my angry voice on which even though only comes on select occaissions, can even be detected via facebook..without actually hearing it. Now I know what you're up to and that you're paying attention to my blogger persona and that makes me happy! And plus i've been wanting to write in this thing but if it's just me then it's embarrassing.. what will our avid readers think?! MY REPUTATION IS STAKE! annyyways, so like.. i'm in full agreement with Ashleigh. If you tapped that .. it would be one of those stories that people daydream of when they think of spending time in Europe. & after what you had to go through in New York last year as far as men go.. you totally deserve a top notch and super awesome guy. Just beware.. he might have hoes in different area codes if you know what i'm sayiiing. As for A-Dawg, you know I try not to hate on him.. but all i'm gonna say is that I know up in Texas sooome people marry their high school sweethearts.. but typically in society, people meet "the one" in college.. their twenties.. even thirties(although at point the future is looking a bleak).. So alls i'm sayin is it it's NOT now or never. Although I still would encourage pursuing aaron in the near future if nothing works out this semester because if ure not truly in an actual "relationship" be it long distance or when ure home.. how do you really know that he's your "one true love?" ANYWAYS... I almost feel bad for making fun of the weed shirt now :) Also I'm really glad to hear your loving it there!& your roommates seem almost as cool as your previous one..and you know I'm a touch critic.

As for me, I don't hear about Paris until like September 30. This makes me nervous. I mean I applied pretty early but in the back of my mind I'm thinking . but what if for some reason I don't get in?! I would like.. die if that happend. idk I'm just trying not to be more optimistic and confident about the whole thing. I believe if I do get the opportunity to in fact go to Paris I would arrive January 13th.. I start classes Feburary 2nd & my spring break would be April 11-26(shiit yo!) I just looked at the Florence calender and it is waayy different. But you don't have class the 13th which is during my spring break.. so.. idk. But you leave May 8th and I leave the 15th so hopefully we can travel then! And you know how I feel about boats. That's all I'm gonna say about that. I mean.. if I was highly medicated and drugged I would consider it.

Maybe we can set a time to vid chat that you're not gonna forget. I can do 2maro anytime after 4 eastern time.. otherwise probs friday sometime. Let me know!

SKANK

2008-09-09T09:44:00.002-04:00

Okay, so just to let you know I should be doing homework right now but since I feel more obliged to you than my other responsibilities (or maybe because I'm scared of you), here I am. I am pissed I missed Britney's big debut, but I'm sure I'll get to hear all about it later (me and her are going out tonight). But I'm just gonna have to get used to missing things like this while I am abroad in another country studying an ancient culture - said in a snobby British accent.

Last night I had a fabulous experience which I will retell right now:
I went to go smoke greeeeen with my roomie, Aditivakrum (this is actually his name and he's the shit), and another girl. It was lovely and I was feeling nice and high. Note: I am wearing that ridiculous bright collared shirt Steph and I bought at the thrift store with the marijuana leaves and cowboy hats. We walk back to the courtyard, where everyone hangs out, and Willem (dutch nobility guy; let's call him Sr. Willem from now on) drops his bag walks over to me and goes "Omg, can I try that on?" Long story short, every single guy in the program spent about 30 minutes trading my shirt around and talking about it was "made by God". It was hilarious and they were pretty much worshiping me and my shirt ("I am God's muse" apparently). Sr. Willem even goes so far as to say "You are officially the coolest person I've met here". Sooooo that was fun, except for the whole time all I wanted was my shirt back so I could go back to my room and satisfy my munchies (cookies, cheetos, and Bug's Life).
Also, I had this wonderful revelation that Sr. Willem is the complete antithesis of Aaron for the following reasons:
1. Sr. Willem has had every opportunity ...nobility.../Aaron is "average"
2. Sr. Willem is "cultured"/Aaron is down to earth
3. Sr. Willem is "refined"/Aaron is tat tat tatted up
4. Sr. Willem is someone who would fit into the crazy international life that I feel like I should be striving for/I would go back to my roots (digress??) with Aaron - school/job/family/etc
5. Sr. Willem wears maroon/Aaron hates maroon
a. this seems trivial, but it is significant because they happened almost simultaneously - A was talking to me and goes "who the fuck wears maroon" and the next day guess what Sr. Willem was wearing....ya lol
THEREFORE, my crazy idea is that I should try to go for Sr. Willem and if it doesn't work out then I'll feel like I've really given my other options a try before pursuing the only guy who's ever really given me butterflies. If it does work out, well, then I'm guess I'll have to admit Aaron is not my "one true love" and simply a guy I love.
What you think?? I talked to Ash about this and her response was "Uh Dutch nobility? What are you talking to me for get out there!" lol

Tonight I'm going to Central to see Mike Jones (WHO!?! MIKE JONES). Haha oh and Kate (pepperdine girl) is finally in the city so I think we're supposed to meet up there! Fun times! I'm really loving it here. The atmosphere is so cute and I love how small community. It reminds me of middle school with all the different groups but without the drama (or at least not as much). There are alot of cool shits out here - especially boys! I'm loving the boys (straight!!). I'm headed to Barcelona on thursday, which should be interesting. First MAJOR europe trip and I only know the language for half of the way. But I'm really excited to finally see her and tear up this continent.

Are all your plans for Paris still working out?? When do you think you'd head out there? I'll probably go back to Italy (yes, I'm going back to Texas for break..) right before classes start cause I don't want/need to do orientation again. Then we can make plans for our first visit!! We especially need to contemplate what should happen during Spring Break. I'm kinda wanting to go on some sort of cruise through the Mediterranean - how would you feel about laying on a big boat all day with a pool, ports on beaches, and food 24/7?? Yaaaaaaaa :)
We need to viddd soon so we can talk about
1. your experiences with fashion week
2. your progress with socializing
3. the hills (I watched it on youtube)
ciao ciao!

2008-09-05T20:36:00.006-04:00

I bought the issue of Vanity Fair to the right today so I could find out the secret Marilyn Files and let you know :) And i'm going to the Karen Walker(isn't that a fabulous name?!) fashion show tomorrow(pictured below) since NY fashion week has began!! It's my first assignment for my internship! And next week I think I get to go to more shows and do little reviews! I'm so pumped because last year we were sitting outside the tents gawking at all of those glamorous fashion mavens walk in and out.. and now that will be meeeee! I have a +1 too so if you feel like making a quick trip over the pond to NYC, you could totally be my guest :). That's all for now I think. I have to get ready to go clubbing at Azza! Soo tell me about your adventure! Ok go!

2008-09-02T08:54:00.004-04:00

It was positively delightful chatting with you yesterday! I'll have you know that I only got a touch of a sunburn on my back, otherwise I still look albino. I mean really? I layed in direct sunlight sans sunscreen for two hours and I can't even get a decent sun burn!Anyways, isn't that a supersweet picture I added up there^?! I took it during my Greenwich Village adventure I took the other day. I spent all day getting lost in the village with my fancy camera. This was the coolest street ever and it led right to the Hudson River! aww.

I also would like to say in response to your last post... hahahaha no matter where you go you can't escape the dark chocolate ;-) But srsly it sounds like Italian nightlife might rival that of the NYC.. mayybe. I'm sure by the end of the year you'll be VIP status without having to mack it with the homies. Annd you def need to become bffs with the amsterdam kid like stat! I hope your art class went well today! I just got back from my first class... Journalism Recitation lol. I have lecture later with like 87427378 kids. wooah. But my Recitation TA person is awesome! He's a professional journalist whose first job was reporting for the New York Times, and now he works at Forbes Magazine writing about business, and specializes in writing about the music business.. and he said that by the end of the semester he could try to help us get clips in the NYT or Forbes. coooool. Exxcept the class is at 8am and you know how I feel about that.. plus i was up late doing pre-class homework.. you know I wanted to start the procrastination right off the bat (i know, i know.. i'm even rolling my eyes at myself!), and also last night was the season premire of not only gossip girl but.... ONE TREE HILL! and i'd like to report that Lucas and Peyton officially got married! I was screaming and jumping for joy and my roomies were like.. seriously?! ..

AND.. my fourth roomie/suitemate moved in yesterday. Let me tell you about her:
1) she says "what are you doing?" I say, "watching gossip girl!" She says, "..what's that?" !?!?!??!
2) she goes to bed at 9.. 10 the latest every night
3) idk if i already told you this but, the city makes her "sad"
4) her boyfriend was calling her all night last night crying because he missed her already
...etc, etc.. buut i will try my hardest to be on my best behavior and be nice and friendly if i really haaaaave to.

Oh! and i remembered why i thought you'd like the house bunny- because the girls next door & Hef were in it! Granted the girls are terrible actresses.. especially Kendra.. but Hef was soo cute! Soo that's all for now.. don't forget to write down your address missy! And if you'd like to send me a postcard(this is mandatory btw) my address is: 140 East 14th Street #502B NY, NY 10003 ! I'll be checking the mail everyday. kk. <3yuu, keep the faith, don't worry be happy, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, when the going gets tough the tough get going!...uhhh idk I might have had too much coffee this morning.. can you tell?
ps. I just want you to know that you can complain& bitch to me until the cows come home, I promise it doesn't annoy me. I'll still try to talk sense into your head because I feel that as your friend, and an outside observer, it's my job.

Party in the discot(EH)cha!

2008-08-31T06:34:00.003-04:00

oh monkey. hahahaha - I bet they thought you were a loon.
And as far as weird sternies go, @ first I thought "what, the little asian sternies look at porn!?" and then I remembered that time we got Iris' phone call:
"Hey guys, I'm down at a sex shop you should come join me!"
To this day, I wonder (in a nervous, cautious sort of way) what she bought.

WELL, on my end of the world..I have been partying it up. There is a very cool outside club thing called Central (named after Central Park, lol) and we've gone there the past two nights in a row to dance the night away. Okay, here's how it went down: huge group of NYU kids take it out for the night and party like maniacs to house music. It's very similar to crazy NY clubs, except the italians are quite bold - imagine black men times 10. And I'm not even exaggerating. I made out with two guys on the dance floor completely involuntarily (to be fair, I was dressed like a skank and dancing like a stripper, but whatev). Oh and somehow I got hooked up with this big ass black promoter guy who took me around with him the whole night giving me free drinks and letting me sit in VIP, dance on stage, etc etc. And the club does this thing where you get stamps on a card for every drink you buy then pay on your way out (can you imagine what a mess this is around 3am?? ya..) but he gave me some sort of "GOLD" pass so I could skip the line and go out for free. AND Mike Jones (who!? MIKE JONES!!!) is coming to that club on Tuesday so big black promoter guy (Abraham) was like "Ya girl I'm running the party I got you in." So I'm like sweeeeeet! Pretty much I dance with him the rest of the night and make out with him a little (first black guy makeout experience and was not pleased) behind some tent, he tries to go for breast and crotch but I laugh and back away, then he gets my #. The rest of his story comes later during night #2, which I'll get to soon.
G and I go home with another NYU guy (who's sooo adorable and LOVES G) which was uneventful except for the fact that he dropped us off @ our dorm door, then ran into our bathroom and puked for about 20 minutes!! We could hear EVERYTHING, and it was pretty much hilarious. The next day we talked about it and he was sooo embarrassed, but no worries - I was just impressed that he was able to keep it in until we left!

We then spend ALL saturday in bed nursing a mean hangover. I watch alot of Grey's Anatomy, then get blue. Well, I mostly got blue after talking to my mom who said "I've decided you need to go to UT your junior year because I think all of this is stressing you out." This got me thinking about my future and what I want to do and I started feeling nervous, and trapped. We'll chat about this more during vidd - I'm better now though cause I talked it out with G and Merrilee (other roommate, aka Merr) and talked to A-man (better?) who promptly told me to quit feeling sorry for myself and enjoy Florence because otherwise I'm just wasting everyone's time. I was a little shocked/pissed to hear that since of course I wanted sympathy, but he's right (ugh I hate that). This is one of the reasons I love him and believe is crucial in any longterm relationship I have because if my psycho genes ever pop up, I'm gonna need someone to put me in my place, ya know?

Anywho: G and I go out for the second night with the plan of just hanging at a bar and getting one drink. Uhhh right. The bar we go to has specials where you can get 3beers for 10 euro, 3cocktails for 10 euro, or 5 shots for 5 euro. Needless to say, I got 5 tequila shots. THEN one of the NYU guys (the same club group is here*) challenges me and another girl that he could chug his beer before we took all our shots. Again, needless to say, we won. Sooo now I'm getting drunk (the prize was another round btw...haha) and the whole group wants to go clubbing - who am I to say no?? ROUND 2 @ Central. Very similar to time before; drinking, dancing, grinding groping, smoking, shaking, rocking, rolling (what a beautiful alliteration). I see Abraham again and he keeps trying to get me alone with him, but I'm just not feeling it. I don't want to have anything with the guy, and even though the perks would be nice it's not worth it. I was already feeling kinda guilty about our first session, and I just didn't want to put myself in that situation. I told him I'd come with him if my girl could come too, and he was just like "whatever" and walked off (he came back and tried to get me again, same story). Bye Abe!

Sooooo now I'm laying in bed about to nurse my second hangover of the weekend. We got up early to do a red bus tour and the roomies wanted to stay in the city for the day (reading and drinking wine or something). I was like, uhhhh a shower and Grey's in bed sounds better, thanks though! Whew, this was a long blog but I still feel like I have so much to tell you! We'll have to save it for later.....
Keep working it girl - I really believe your social butterfly is ready to leave its cocoon :)

*I must tell you about the group of people I'll be hanging with. It's a small group, so it has the potential of close friends/hookup buddies/DRAMA. And since I'm staying here a year, I'll prob get right in the middle of it. It's a lot like NYU, where everyone is way interesting but mostly a little strange. But I'm liking the majority of the kids I meet..I think there's about 70 of us living on campus?? As soon as I figure out who my main crew will be, I'll describe the important ones. Although I must tell you that one of the guys is in some sort of aristocracy and has multiple houses around Europe that are a part of his inheritance. He's from Amsterdam, and is getting a car next week so that he can roadtrip back and forth - holla!!

Azns

2008-08-30T13:12:00.003-04:00

Hey hoe. Ready for embarrassing moment numero three? So my roommate and her green-haired friend were sleeping the other night..as was i.. and in the middle of the night I accidentally knocked Bandit the obnoxious flying monkey that you so kindly put into my possession.. and it flew right next to their bed and started screaming/making that weird sound it does when you throw it. And they were like WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?! and i was like oh. sorry. That's my monkey. and they were just like okkkkiie dokieeee then ?!?!!?.
ohh brother I'm like out of control.. i don't know!

Anyyyyways, last night I had a very good night which was good because I didn't do or see anyone all day and that made me really sad. But first I went over my neighbor's apt for "mexican night" and they cooked tacos. Everyone there were people who spent last semester in Florence which is cool but they were really awkward. For example, I was sitting next to this guy and he would stare at the wall and be like "soooo. where are you from?" ..still staring at the wall. And then I would answer and he would finally look at me really fast and be like oh. cool. and then back to the wall. and then i was like ...umm so where are you from?? and then this girl sat down next to me and was like hi. let's be friends. and i was like okay!! and then she was like, "so. I went shopping today. I bought a chicken purse. It looks like a chicken. it's so cool. " and that's when I was like ppeeeeace ouutt you crazy kids! THEN, I went clubbing with Caitlin, my old friend Lauren who just transferred here, and her transfer friends. Her friends were all really obnoxious and I was trying really hard not to judge them. But they're asian Sternies and we know how they are! They walk ino my room and start like going through my clothes, lying on my roommates bed saying "like omg when can leave?" and some girl was looking at pictures on google on my computer and when I came home later the page was still up and it was all like NAKED ASIANS! i was like WTFFFFFF?! oh and then in the elevator they pressed every floor button so it would stop.. at every floor. and they thought it was soo funny. ayy dios mios! Then we get to the club (Spy club) and theres a hugge line because it's a lovely 18+ welcome week party ..which we know is totally for amateurs! But it was fun for a while.. but it was weird not having you there :( & the population in the club was 85% asian so the asian sternies were in heaven so us white girls.. caitlin, lauren, me, and another transfer girl whose last name is Kandybin but for the whole night I thought her first name was kandy and the last name bin lol, left..and we met up with some more transfer sternie kids(also non-asiann yeaah) at cloister cafe ..the hookah place blah blah blah, then we went to second street res.hall where one guy lives and get this... he lives in the fucking PENT HOUSE! And I've met more than one person this year who lives in a pent house of a residence hall.. so he has two floors! I'm so jealous! Next year, if we live in housing we're getting a fucking pent house! So moral of the story is, I ended up really liking the last people we were with and we all know that's a hard feat to accomplish with me, and Kandybin was like omg we should hang out more often, and wants me to take her clubbing. Soo maybe I'm making friends? Hopefully? Otherwise I fear to think what will become of me. Okayy well I hope you're having a fantabulous time and can we vid soon? Because I miss you aaaaaaalotttttt!

All I really want right now is space market...

2008-08-29T02:20:00.004-04:00

Hiiiiii.
I'm sowwy it's taken me a while to write.. i've been attempting to get up and get out! Still, most of that time is spent with me myself and I but tonight I went out to dinner with Holly and some other people and then out for drinks, and then had wine with my roomie, her green haired friend, my suitie, and some guys down the hall who are typical awkward NYU boys. booo. But chuu know. I found a way to embarrass myself yet again.. we did a cheers with the wine and i went to take one sip and poured it right into my boobs. I'm special :) I also want to post some pics of my b-e-a-u tiful side of the room.. i've been bidding on cameras on ebay today lol but I lost all of the bids because Ebay is evil. Anyhoo, it's good to hear that "A-Dawg(does he know you have this lame nickname for him btw? lol)" has a good head on him(kinda) after all.. i mean i think he's he really right. Just make an effort to keep in touch and from there go with the flow duude. hmph.. i can't wait until I actually have interesting things to rant about lol.. this has been the absolute longest week of my liiffe. Apparently tomorrow night I'm taking Caitlin clubbing tho with her fancy shmancy texas i.d.! Give me your address so I can send you postcards and NYU dining hall sugar cookies!!.. and maybe one oatmeal raison wahwahwahhhhhhhhhh.

PS: let me just say that I am sooo proud that you figured out how to post pictures!! I was seriously shocked! and no you are not aloud to use the word clutch.

"ugh, amore-shmore"

2008-08-28T18:30:00.003-04:00

Alright, so this is a blog about love (death).
BTW: in case you did not understand the title, I was trying to convey the phrase that people use when they think something is ridiculous. Per esempio - "Fergie, eat your vegetables because they're healthy for you." "Ah...healthy, shmealthy. Who cares I like bread!!" :)

Anyways, just wanted to let you know I vidddded with A-dawg for the first time today. It was really nice to see him AND talk to him - the boy is so damn sexy I just want to eat him up and swallow him whole..(I apologize for the digression). I tried to articulate my feelings - be proud of me! - but I still don't think I got what I wanted out of the convo. Basically, I said that I was worried about what the best "plan-of-action" for our relationship would be because if we give it our all someone could be disappointed, but if we don't do enough we could miss out on something really great. He said he doesn't have any answers to these questions (damn!) but he still thinks it's best for us to do what we can and re-evaluate after all this is over. Deep down I just wanted A to say "I feel the same way so let's say screw the world and be together", but I know he's right. Our lives don't exactly mesh right now, and we just can't do anything drastic until we know we can even be together for more than a few weeks, since I don't even know if we've done that successfully...
I'm scared to lose him, but the truth is if we're still able to scrounge up this level of passion after months apart I doubt everything would suddenly die. Honestly, the only thing that would kill our feelings would be if one person gets severely hurt and angry (aka, try and be together in separate countries and someone cheats..). Ya know, if for some reason we break up during all this and I still want the boy back I will just go get him.
So I don't necessarily feel more clear about my feelings for A, but I definitely know that we're on the same page; missing each other like hell, but trying to keep everything fun and flirty so that neither one of us will regret anything. I'm proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort box :) I even told him I would want to be with him if I could guarantee security (but I have mad* doubts), which is a big step for me. There was only one slightly shady thing...while we were viddding he was texting his ex Sam and they were writing hateful things to each other. He was telling me everything that happened voluntarily (apparently she called him yesterday and they fought a little bit) and was reading me everything they wrote back and forth to each other, but I was still a little uncomfortable. I said "I'm concerned cause even though you say you're over her, the immense hatred you feel will keep you from truly moving on." He said he has been over her a long time because she hurt him so badly and he only feels anger because she is a supreme "bitch", but I'm still unsure. Still, this is not an issue I'm planning on addressing anytime soon. I don't think she's a threat to me (mostly cause I'm way cute) but I do get jealous knowing the boy has that much passion (even if it's anger) for anyone other than me, ya know?

However (transition word!), the convo was still lovely and thanks for making me display my emotions**.

LAST day of orientation tomorrow - we're supposed to learn about things such as budgeting and community service and work study (which I might need since parents are all of a sudden putting me on a strict budget!! wtf!?!?). Ohhhh and we met really cool/interesting/weird/annoying people today of which I must detail in another blog tomorrow, so you best be stepping up your game BITCH.

xxxxxxxxxxo.

*One of my roommates uses awesome phrases such as "mad" "dumb" and "clutch". Be prepared because I am planning to incorporate all of these into my everyday life.
**A is happy that you are "on his side" when it comes to me and my retarded emotions. Especially because everyone else in my life hates his guts :)

Viva Italia!

2008-08-28T05:43:00.003-04:00

Okay, first of all I would just like to say that I was laughing so hard this morning when I heard about your "coming-out-of-the-closet" experience. It must have been truly traumatic. This is why you can not live without me (although, to be honest, I probably would have sat on my bed cracking up for a good fifteen minutes before letting you out).

More orientation today - nothing too exciting. We learned all about "life on the villa". Sounds like everything will be pretty chill around here. My only complaint is there is a huge valley in between my dorm and the classrooms so EVERY DAY I will be walking straight downhill then straight uphill. It's one bitch of a walk, but my ass will be fantastic. Speaking of fantastic asses - I should definitely check out the gym situation because all this pasta and cheese is gonna be packing on the love. Supposedly there is yoga every Tuesday and looks like there might be some nice places to jog. I gotta keep up with you - with a gym right in the building you'll be packing some sweet assssssets soon :)

Well, I'm gonna do my best to go out and have a good time this weekend. Planning on grabbing my BEST euro-trash outfit and dancing the night away. Maybe even falling in love with a lovely Italian man - I think it might be good for a night. Oh, speaking of "L-O-V-E" I called A-dawg last night but he didn't have time to talk (he was about to give his dad a tattoo - ahhhh he's such a sexy man). Hopefully we'll be able to chat tomorrow, and I'll try and articulate all my feelings. I think what I'm going to say that I really love him, and I really want us to be together but I just don't know what the best plan of action will be for now. Maybe he has a good plan.

I'm out - time for more orientation and more information about the next four (nine) months of la mia viva :)

Sunshine. Red Wine. Love.

2008-08-27T21:14:00.002-04:00

Hollerrrrr from the NYC locationnnn. worddd up. lol just kidding. Kinda... So let us begin. It is a Wednesday evening at the moment. I just returned from Yoga which was absolutely lovely and now I feel revived, refreshed, ready to go! Unfortunately I have no where to go.. But it's alright I do have plans for tomorrow and Friday. Yay me. My roomie isn't doing anything either but i don't feel like talking to her at ze moment. Having roommates you're not bffs with is a strange thing. Last year I feel like we never walked out of the room without being like hey this is where I'm going. I feel so awkward and disorientated. I'm totally bugging out yo! I think the biggest adjustment for me this year will be getting used to the fact that I don't have someone to go with me ..everywhere. Like dinner?! Both of my roomies are planning to cook every meal so that is out of the question. Idk.. but like not everyone on my floor has moved in yet.. I haven't seen ANYONE so who knows what lies ahead in the next few weeks.. or months. OH! I can't believe I forgot to tell you the craziest story when we were chatting earlier:
Okay so yesterday morning I planned to go to the gym. My blinds don't close all the way and my room looks out into other Palladium rooms, and I dont wanna be called the skank of Palladium yet so I decided to change in my closet(please note at this point that my dresser bumps out millimeters away from my closet door). I go to reopen the door a few minutes later.. but the door won't budge. and then i start to freak out because I have to pee and i'm locked in my closet(note that I realize it won't open because one of my drawers is open a lil and the door cant get past the drawer). So I take my suitcase down and get a little bit of a running start and smash it into the door again and again thinking that weak little me can actually break down the fucking like steel door with my suitcase. Time for plan B. I start looking for vents.. no luck. I look for a place that I can pee without being too gross.. I call out to my suitemate since my roomie wasnt home.. but no answer. and then i'm fuck plan B I am not sitting i here all day so I start screaming HELLLPPPPP CECILIAAAAAAA and banging on the walls and door. And finally she's like are you okay?! and i'm like NO I AM NOT OKAY IM LOCKED IN MY CLOSET! but she can't get into my room because the individual rooms lock by themselves and I had closed the door. So she's like hold on! I'll go get help! So like 15 minutes later I'm rescued by fat maintnence men who are laughing hysterically at me and were like haha we thought your roommate was joking!

Isn't that just redonkulous?! Now i'm afraid of my closet!

Next order of business, i was thinking that your and aaron's relationship resemble that of my aunt and unlce who dated in high school.. and then broke up because he was a ladies man and she couldn't handle it.. and so they dated other people and then went to college separately, but always kept in touch because despite it all they knew they really loved eachother. After college they started dating again.. on and off and eventually my uncle chilled out and they are the most obnoxiously happy couple! It just got me thinking that I know it feels like life consists of high school and college and then u better make a decision because it's all down hill from there.. but really we're just starting to begin life. We still haven't truly entered the quote on quote "real world" yet.. and you have plenty of time to make big life decisions after college. It's harder because he's doing shit with his life right now so he doesn't have a lot to do/a lot going for him.. but you do. And i'm sure you feel like well if you don't act now you'll lose him.. But honestly if it's meant to work out in the end it will. You shouldnt feel like you need to rush just because he might not be there when you're ready because if he respects you and you're dreams and wants to be part of that then he will be there. You need to meet other guys and date other guys because you don't have much to compare him too.. and then I think you'll have a clearer perspective on what you want. Because if all you wanted was him, you wouldn't be in this situation. Idk.. I mean personally I find this whole situation to be really complicated and that's why I keep thinking about it lol because I want to help you find a solution but.. I really think you need to just start out by being honest with him and bearing your soul because you're on such different wavelengths, communication is the only way you can help understand each other. .. And you need to get it off your chest and then go and enjoy FUCKING FLORENCE!! Do what you came there to do.. go talk to the natives, become fluent! Learn everything there is to know about the city and the culture! And i'm totally in the same boat with you on that one.. i mean I live in new york city and i'm fucking sitting in my dorm bed at 10 at night blogging like a total lame ass. But we'll get through it :) This semester is gonna fly by.

okayy sorry this post was like a YEAR long but I have nothing else to do and no one else to talk to wahh wahhhh wahhhhhhh.
Peace&Love